New Rules Part 2

 

Well the first one worked pretty well and there is room for more. So once again inspired by Bill Maher I bring to you some more NEW RULES in sports!

New Rule: Now that the NBA lockout has been resolved, David Stern must step down as commissioner. Stern has done plenty of good for the league but his best before date expired around 2004. It is time for a new voice at the top and Stern should go out now because basketball doesn’t need him anymore.

New Rule: If the NHL won’t play in the 2014 Winter Olympics send the juniors to Sochi. The World Junior Hockey Championship is a wonderful tournament and provides great entertainment. Unfortunately only Canada watches the tournament. So if the NHL decides to take a pass in 2014 send the under 19s so they can get the limelight they richly deserve.

New Rule: No more corporate bowl names. I’m sorry but the Little Caesars Bowl, the Meineke Car Care Bowl and the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl doesn’t roll off the tongue. Bring back the Bluebonnet Bowl I say!

New Rule: For the Love of God, please stop playing jewellery commercials during NFL games! This is beyond annoying! Enough with sappy tales of love and romance during my football games. Save it for Valentine’s Day! Please! Here’s a sample of what I’m talking about.

 

New Rule: Pierre McGuire is no longer allowed between the benches. In fact, Pierre McGuire should be outlawed from all NHL buildings. While we’re at it outlaw Glenn Healy as well. Both are irritating and slightly creepy. (In Pierre’s case, very creepy.)

New Rule: If you don’t like a certain athlete, don’t follow him or her on Twitter. If you start trash talking the athlete you despise the most, you don’t look tough, you look like a douche bag.

New Rule: Cotton Eyed Joe should never be played at an arena near you ever again. Why was it played in the first place I’ll never understand so end the horror and don’t play that awful song ever again!

New Rule: No more third/alternate jerseys. It’s far too confusing to tell which team is playing whom without the change of uniform. Besides most third jerseys are beyond hideous to begin with so to all professional sports teams, have a home and an away jersey and that’s it! Below are two horrific examples.

New Rule and this one is directed at all NHL linesmen: DROP THE PUCK! I did not pay $80.00 to watch you throw out every single player in the faceoff circle. Your job is to call offsides, break up fights, and drop the puck. Simple as that.

New Rule: FOX Sports must fire Joe Buck and replace him with Gus Johnson right now! Joe Buck is so boring, he can turn a great football game into a snoozefest! Please FOX, do something right for a change and bring in Gus Johnson who at least shows some passion for the sport he covers! Is that too much to ask?

New Rule: The NFL are a bunch of hypocrites. Look, I love the NFL with a passion but they drive me crazy. They’re trying to crack down on big hits by calling a penalty on every hard hit, legal or not but at the same time, celebrating the violence of the sport by showing footage of Jack Lambert, Jack Tatum, and company basically destroying the opposition. Either the NFL has to stop rolling the film of these barbaric yet wonderful collisions that we fans love, or accept the fact that football is a violent sport!

 

New Rule: If you want to boycott a sport because of labour issues or violence issues just go ahead and do it without telling anyone. I’ve heard from so many people they’ll boycott the NBA because of the spoiled way the players and owners acted during the lockout. Yet I heard the same rhetoric during the NFL lockout this summer and the NHL lockout back in 2005. Guess what, they all came back! So until you actually do boycott the sport, I don’t believe you.

New Rule: The NBA must return to Seattle at once. This is a wrong that must be righted. I still don’t understand how David Stern and crew let the Supersonics leave the beautiful Key City and headed to Oklahoma City. Nothing against the Sooner State but, Seattle had a history with the NBA. The Supersonics won the title in 1979 and pushed the mighty Chicago Bulls in the 1996 Finals. Yes there are arena issues but they can be fixed given time. Go west NBA. Go West.

 

And finally New Rule: No more halftime shows please! After being inundated with Nickelback, The Black Eyed Peas, and Enrique Iglesias in previous halftime shows, I have one word, ENOUGH! I don’t watch a football game for the musical entertainment just like most other people. Besides would the Grammy awards stop halfway through for a touchdown drive by the New England Patriots? Now Madonna has been announced has this year’s halftime entertainment at the Super Bowl. If I want to watch an old woman writhing around for 20 minutes I’ll watch a rerun of the Golden Girls!

You can follow me on Twitter @jstar1973

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About Jsportsfan

Covers the Winnipeg Jets for jetsnation.ca. Likes many but not all sports. I'm loveably annoying. You can also follow me on Twitter @jstar1973
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3 Responses to New Rules Part 2

  1. Bobby Charts says:

    Too funny, agree with a lot of it, great work! lol, golden girls, hey easy I like that show.

    That Nashville jersey looks pretty nice man, see on the throw up yellow.

    That NYI jeresy looks like it has the Gordon’s fish stick guy on it!

    Boycott the NBA is silly, I thought that and said that last lockout and after 2 games I was like a drunk man in the bar, not really but you know….

  2. Love the rules. Once again, a very good job with them. The jewelers commercials rule is too true, man! Also, the corporate bowl games are really annoying me. Actually, the BCS is annoying me, like I said in my most recent post on thenewsofsports.wordpress.com.

  3. Pingback: SBM Exclusive: New Rules | Sports Blog Movement

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