New Rules Part 3

With the Olympics nicely underway, baseball entering the dog days of summer, NFL training camps now open, the NHL and NBA in their off-seasons, and the CFL in full force, I think it is time for some more new rules. So once again, with a tip of the hat to Bill Maher, it is time for some New Rules Sports Style!

NEW RULE:

Enough with the insipid “I Believe” song. Yes I’m talking to you CTV! We don’t need to hear it every time Canada wins a medal. (Which won’t be very often at these Olympics.) The only person that likes the song is Brian Williams who probably has a creepy old man crush on Nikki Yanofsky. Just stop the madness. For my American readers, here’s the song I’m talking about. Warning: This song may shorten life spans, and kill brain cells.

NEW RULE:

For the love of God, please fire Michael Landsberg already TSN! Yes I know, he’s the only original broadcaster left on TSN, but he is dreadful. Listening to him host the afternoon show on the Olympics is akin to fingernails on a chalkboard. He comes across as a total douchebag. And does anyone watch Off The Record anymore? I didn’t think so. Just spare us the misery and get rid of this clown!

NEW RULE:

Canada has to admit that the only gold medal they will ever care about is winning the hockey gold medal. Face facts Canada, we only want to win in our winter passion. So please, enough with the fake anger that you show our Summer Olympic athletes for coming home empty-handed. When these Olympics are done, you’ll quickly forget about them, and start counting down the days until the NHL season begins.

NEW RULE:

NBC has to stop thinking that it is 1988 and realize the tape delay thing doesn’t work anymore. With internet and social media all the rage, people know the results, long before NBC decides to air it in Prime Time. If NBC wants to make a serious commitment to the Olympics, then start showing events live, instead of the usual trash that is daytime TV. Remember NBC, not everything runs on Eastern Daylight Time.

NEW RULE:

Baseball has to set a solid trade deadline day. No more of these non-waiver, post waiver trade deadline days. It has never made any sense and it never will. Pure and simple, if the non-waiver deadline is July 31, and the post-waive deadline is August 31, set the trade deadline to August 15. Then everyone can be clear on when trades can and cannot happen.

NEW RULE:

Jon Cornish. What a douchebag!

If you rush for -1 yards for the game, you have no right to blame your teammates. This past Saturday, Calgary Stampeders running back, (and complete moron) Jon Cornish had a brutal day rushing the football. Cornish final numbers were 6 carries for -1 yards. Granted, maybe he should get more than 6 touches, but still, don’t say you did your job. Cornish went on to blame his offensive line for his lack of yardage. What Cornish doesn’t realize is that all he needs to do his fall forward, and he can have positive rushing yards. Cornish is a malcontent and a first-class jerk! By the way, the Stampeders were blitzed 34-8 by the BC Lions in the game. And Cornish still thought he had a good game. The Stamps should do him and the team a favour by releasing this ungrateful idiot!

NEW RULE:

I’m not the best player ever, so I’m going to cry about it!

David Beckham is overrated! Yeah you heard me! I know this will make many people unhappy but, the way Beckham is lauded about, especially by the British media, you think he’s the best of all time. He wasn’t even the best player when he was with Manchester United. For my money, Ryan Giggs, Dwight Yorke and Teddy Sheringham were better all-around players than Beckham during his time with United. And did Beckham ever lead England to international glory? NO! Yes, Beckham is the most well-known player ever. But that is largely due to the fact, he is adored by the ladies, and he’s married to a former Spice Girl. The best player during Beckham’s era was Zinedine Zidane! Case closed!

NEW RULE:

Can the NFL season start now? Please? I miss it and I want it back. I can’t wait for another six weeks.  I really need the NFL back.

NEW RULE:

Unless you’re Bob McKenzie or Darren Dreger, you don’t have any “sources.” Twitter has been filled with trade rumours thanks to dubious “insiders” who say their “sources close to the situation” are on top of the news. No they are not. So please fake insiders, GET A LIFE! My sources tell me that you’re all losers!

NEW RULE:

There is no way in hell this “Dream Team” could ever beat the original Dream Team. Kobe Bryant sounded off just before the Olympics, proclaiming that this version of the Dream Team could beat the original Dream Team in their prime! NO! First off Kobe, Michael Jordan would own you. Why? MJ is simply put, the greatest basketball player that ever stepped foot on this planet! No argument! Secondly, I agree with NBC basketball analyst Doug Collins who said that the size of the original Dream Team, would dominate the post over this team. Charles Barkley, Karl Malone and David Robinson would use their size and strength, to have their way inside over Kevin Durant, Tyson Chandler and Kevin Love. Only three players, Kobe, Durant, and LeBron James would have made the 92 Dream Team. This one isn’t close.

You can follow me on Twitter @jstar1973

About these ads

About Jsportsfan

I'm a very passionate sports fan especially hockey and football. I do have opinions so here's hoping for some discussion and feedback! You can also follow me on Twitter @jstar1973
This entry was posted in Sports and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to New Rules Part 3

  1. Blog Surface says:

    Great great post Jeremy! Very insightful.

    Baseball has to set a solid trade deadline day. No more of these non-waiver, post waiver trade deadline days. It has never made any sense and it never will. Pure and simple, if the non-waiver deadline is July 31, and the post-waive deadline is August 31, set the trade deadline to August 15. Then everyone can be clear on when trades can and cannot happen.

    AMEN to that!

  2. Let’s say they could hypothetically travel back in time and actually have that Dream Team match-up.

    Would that be the most watched sporting event in history?

    I know one thing for sure. It’d be set to NEVER-EVER-DELETE on my DVR.

  3. Pingback: SBM Exclusive: New Rules | Sports Blog Movement

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s